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  Practicing Self-Care

We are living in very different times right now, still finding a new normal. There is much global, collective and individual anxiety. One important question is - how do we care for ourselves and our families both physically and emotionally?

The importance of practicing self-care and finding ways to empower yourself is so important. Presently, we are faced with concerns about health, economics, family and children’s well-being, and more. So, any way you can find to empower yourself and create a sense of security is extremely vital. When we feel anxious and scared, we can feel helpless, so finding ways to empower yourself is key.

Accepting yourself and all your thoughts and emotions is so important now. When we are having challenging times, and we all are right now, we need to support ourselves even more. I admit I have felt uncomfortable with some of my own thoughts over the past months, but it doesn’t help to be angry with myself for such thoughts. Hating the thoughts or resisting them really only make them more powerful. I have had to say to myself, ‘it’s ok, I accept myself. It’s only a thought.’ Thoughts aren’t really right or wrong, they just are. Feelings are not right or wrong either, they just are. They give us information. We do need to be mindful of our behaviors.

Gabby Bernstein in her article Spiritual Tools to Relieve Anxiety wrote about the Choose Again Method. The choose-again method has 3 steps. They are: 1. Notice the thought, 2. Forgive the thought, 3. Pro-actively choose a better-feeling thought. So, in the first step we notice the thought we’re having. Yes, I am having this thought, of course I am. Notice your physical reactions to the thought. Where is your body tightening up? For me I feel it in my jaw, temple, and shoulders. Don’t fight the sensations in your body, instead observe them, feel them, and let them go. You can say to the thought, “Thank you for sharing. I know you’re trying to protect me. Now, I choose to think differently.“ Then the second step is Forgive the thought. Forgive yourself for thinking the thought. Say to yourself in your mind or out loud, “I forgive myself”. We are practicing compassion, which we need now. Step three is Choose a more supportive thought, an affirmation. Some positive, proactive thoughts are “I am healthy and filled with energy”; or “I have everything I need right now.” These thoughts help us to calm down, affirm the positive, and help our bodies to feel more peaceful, which helps our immune systems to stay healthy.

Get good sleep. Turn off the TV and your phone at least an hour before bed. The anxiety about the virus can interrupt and affect your sleep. You want to go into sleep as peaceful and calm as possible. Read some uplifting literature before you go to bed, maybe a self-help or spiritual book.

Practice meditation. Meditation quiets your body and helps to quiet your mind. Meditation can help you tap into an inner peace that is always available inside. I’ve been practicing meditation for many years. It helps me to feel calmer in my body, helps to quiet my mind, helps me feel rejuvenated, helps me to think more clearly when I am finished meditating, and helps me to tap into my inner knowing, my gut. There are many ways to practice meditation. You can sit quietly and be mindful of your breath, watching your breath as it goes in and out of your body. Or you can say a mantra in your mind over and over, such as, on the in-breath say to yourself ‘I am’ and on the out-breath say ‘peace’. You can then repeat this. You could also google meditation script or guided meditation; there are many, many guided meditations to be found on the internet. When I began meditating in 1990, I started out with 5 minutes a day, and increased to 15 minutes a day within about 6 months. There’s really no right or wrong way to meditate. Making the commitment to just sit quietly with your hands by your side is good for your body and positively changes your breathing. Making the attempt to meditate is the most important thing. When I started to meditate, I wanted to jump out of my skin because it was so different for me, because we are usually doing something or rushing around when we’re awake. However, after 6 months of meditation, I really came to enjoy it and saw the benefits. Some of those benefits were/are improved blood circulation, feeling calmer, reduced anxiety, clearer thinking, greater trust in myself, higher self-esteem, and a greater feeling of connection to all living beings.

Spend time in nature. Nature is expansive, with the endless sky, birds, animals, trees, and plants. As much as you are able, get outside. Even if it’s cold, bundle up and get outside for a brisk walk, or to look at the birds or sky, or just to take a few breaths of fresh air. I always feel better and renewed when I get outside. There is a peace in nature that can help you tap into your own peace inside. Life is still going on in nature despite the virus. Nature is alive in the present moment, which is the only place life every really exists.

I know this is a time of uncertainty and confusion. It is also an opportunity to practice having faith and looking for the good in the current situation, good can be found in all situations. You may want to practice some of the slogans and prayers used in 12-step groups, such as ‘Let go’, ‘First things first’, ‘One day at a time’, and the Serenity Prayer, which states-

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

I have had down times in my life and I can honestly say, those down times did lead to good and growth. When it’s black, bleak, and you can’t understand in your mind what is happening, have Faith. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and show up for life. Things will get clearer. Go a day or a moment at a time. It can be faith in a Higher Power. But even more, it’s faith in the Divine Order of life. You can see the Divine Order in nature. Every day on this planet the sun rises and sets, every month the moon goes through its phases, the waves go through their high and low tides every day, and every three months the seasons change every single year. The birds know where to fly for winter and summer. And we, humans, are not controlling any of that, but we are a part of it. So truly, there is an order and rhythm to our lives too, even when we’re in an emotional storm and can’t clearly see our way at the moment. This current time in life with the fears of the virus is an opportunity to practice having faith, deepen our spiritual connection and beliefs, and connect with others in safe ways.

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